A Hill to Climb Over

I didn't dare to bear any expections.

I didn't want to get affected by whatever the outcome is.

And yet when rejection had come and hit me in between my eyes,

I still felt more disheartened than ever.

Only then do I realize that I have always been secretly hoping.

To be given hope and then lose it,

to have beautiful dreams and waken up from it,

to be so close and yet so far.

Crushed, I was.

Recovered, I have.

I will accept failure and not make it personal,

but the drive to push me forward,

improve myself and

change their views of me.

Simply because I have faith in myself.

That I can.

And I will.

Debbay

It's a suicidal moment

holy. macaroni. pizza.

I have always been a good person. I do charity work, I am nice to everyone, I don't kill ants and yet misfortunes often fall upon me....

I rushed home from Majilis Anugerah Kecemerlangan at the old school, Seafield, I was late for my Introduction to Construction Industry class to FNBEmates: i swear we need a shorter name for it This new time isn't really working for me. And where is the new class again? B3-03-01?? I pulled my handphone out of my bag, shifted the stack of notes I was holding in my left arm to be kiap-ed under my armpit, so that I could type an sms to Danial.

"Eh, where is class?"

The wind was blowing hard and I regret putting on that skirt I haven't wore in ages. I pressed my hand down against my skirt, to refrain having a Marilyn-Monroe-skirt-flying moment and giving free shows to the Indons hanging around at the walkway.

Danial's message came in, I clicked the message open with my right hand while i walk quick and conservatively at the same time.

"The usual, A3-07-01..."

Got it! I turned left into the A3 building and pressed the up button for the lift. One of the lift opened immediately, cool dont have to wait long long, I thought. When I reached the seventh floor, I breathed a sigh of relief, like how I always do because I manage to get to my destination safely, without being trapped or meet any hamsap lou or Chaba in the lift. I checked the time on my phone again, it was only 6 minutes past 2. That meant I wasn't that late.

Approaching the class, I heard Miss Sherri's voice. She wasn't one of our lecturer but she still does lectures sometimes, when invited, like yesterday's class. So, I pulled the door open, with my apologetic sorry-a-bit-late-for-class-heh smile and made my way accross the class to where the gang usually sits.

The class was full. And Miss Sherri had already started the lesson. Odd. I scanned the room. There, front right corner of the classroom was occupated by girls, I saw their backs. Jun Yu and the girls. At the back, the boys. Dexter and all. I stopped at my tracks when my eyes landed on the gang's usual spot (the front left corner of the classroom).


It was empty. Huh?


Confused by it, I decided to sit with Jun Yu and the girls first because I didn't want to be a loner. As I retraced my steps back to the girls, I couldn't help but wonder where the rest of the gang were. Am I too early? Did they pakat to skip class and didn't tell me?

An unfamiliar eyes caught mine.
Who is he? Is he new? Why is he staring at me?

Then I realized that Miss Sherri had stop talking. I look up in her direction.
She stared back at me.

Then I realized the whole class had stop talking too.
So, I looked at all of them and went "what?"

Expecting to meet the faces of Sarah, Dhee, Rick, Phua, Daecan, Dexter, I was completely lost when I didn't see them but a bunch of strangers instead.

What is going on?
Where are my classmates?
WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?

I shrinked into myself, intimidated by these unfamiliar faces.
I didnt know what to do. I was too shocked. My brain was dead.




"WRONG CLASS LAR!" someone shouted eventually. was it you Ben? or Je Yue?



And then it hit me.

"OMG SORRY WRONG CLASS SORRY"

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT



And those were my last words before I stormed out of the room which was roaring with laughters,

sent a " OMG FUCK YOU" sms to Danial and

jumped off the seventh floor.






*dies in her own pool of embarassment*


Tell me, why do things like this happen to me?!! WHY ME?!!
To whom do I owe?!!! T.T

And the most idiotic thing was I didn't even realize I was in the wrong class until someone shouted it out loud. It was like i was so shocked, I couldn't think of what was happening and couldn't find an answer to my questions. WRONG CLASS DAMN IT. And I saw Jun Yu and the girls? NO, I saw their backs and ASSUMED it was Jun Yu and the girls. I saw a bunch of boys and ASSUMED it was Dexter and the boys. OH MY GOD. How much more idiotic can a person be?!!!

And so, after I rose from the dead and regained my composure, I managed to check Danial's sms again. And that was only Danial POINTED it out for me because he said he was innocent and I accused him. And guess what? The message read,

"The usual, A3-07-01... at 3.30pm."





I told you it was a suicidal moment,
Debbay

I am Panicmaster 5000

Dexter, good boy gone bad

Yeah, the show was stupid lar. Not really scary, its just so gruesome. Gouging her victims eye, eek. Yes, I'm talking about Coming Soon.

But I'm such a sucker that the hair on my back still stands and images of Chaba hanging dead and angry behind me when I'm alone in the elevator in college. Then I start misusing my imagination and picture myself in Shane's place in the lift scene in Coming Soon. Where the lights flicker off and angry and ugly Chaba's face appear when the lift door opens.

And when I sleep in the night, I check the insides of my cupboard and still don'f feel any satisfaction because Chaba can teleport.

Omg, Mummay!

and whom did i watch the movie with? hehehe thats for me to know and you to not find out. XD




Oh I made this really cool comic! (Based on a true story)

5.5.09, night before Elements Class

KY was happily torturing his friends on Friends on Sale on Facebook when Jun You msn-ed him.

KY decided to talk to Debbay about it.

Debbay has lost her head because there are too MUCH assignments and they are pilling up faster than you can say NoOOOooooOoooooo.......

Debbay needs to brag infront of Danial.

Danial is just blur all the times.

End.

*sits back and reviews end product of the comic*

*stones*

I swear it sounded better in my head T.T,
Debbay

i liked it

Quote Min,

You know you have reached a whole new level of addiction towards Restaurant City when you message someone you havent talked to for some time informing them that you traded some ingredients with them and that they should approve it ASAP because its such a life-saving emergency. Oh yeah BTW hi.

=.=



had a good time,
Debbay

Should I or should I not?

Guess who??

To Yin Shi, eh since when you told us that you were going to Sarawak???

McD's fries. Nothing can beat that man.

Joan with McD's fries.

Oh and I can't emphasize more how great and supportive my FNBE friends are :

WeiWei___Miss Clumsy : Nobody's Perfect - says:
*hmm?
*lol yalor...
*debbie try next year! u can do it!

Debbay says:
*SO SAD LAR
*I CANNOT SING
*no lar i dont want to try d
*ego bruised

WeiWei___Miss Clumsy : Nobody's Perfect - says:
*aiyor why?! we support u.

rainmaker says:
*=.=
*no matter wad
*ur stil the best for us
*hehe

WeiWei___Miss Clumsy : Nobody's Perfect - says:
*yes!

rainmaker says:
*i hear u sing b4
*it's really sweet
*NOT BULLSHITNG
*im serious
*hehe

WeiWei___Miss Clumsy : Nobody's Perfect - says:
*yaya i support too!
*agree with jireh

rainmaker says:
*eh litter eng wei
*little*

WeiWei___Miss Clumsy : Nobody's Perfect - says:
*wat? mr.evil

rainmaker says:
*beside saying yes yes agree
*wad else can u say?
*ahahah
*copy cat!!

WeiWei___Miss Clumsy : Nobody's Perfect - says:
*ermmmmmm........
*lol since when i be cat har
*dirty cat!

So sweet of them lar *sobs*

*they then proceeded to draw ugly pictures of each other*

felt like a really bright lamp post then. if you get what i mean =)

*eyebrows wiggling*

I'm cool, no worries =),

Debbay

Mummay You're Killing Me

It really isn't my fault that my camera ran out of battery at the beginning of my very fun outing. Blame the bloody camera.

Anyway, watched X-men Origins with the classmates. Eng wei couldn't make it grrr.. I hate reading or knowing movie reviews cos if the reviews are really positive, I will expect so much from the movie that no matter how good it was I feel it didn't live up to my expectations. I like suprises, like not knowing what to expect in a movie or not knowing the movie plot at all. In those situations, the movies really knock me out. So I'm not gonna tell you what I think of the movie, go watch yourself. =) Hugh Jackman was really hot though! Totally agree with Sarah that he looked better in this movie.

Rick's famous emo-at-a-corner emoticon

Melvin and Dexter

I was pranked by these two basta...Brinjals. I didn't buy enough tickets for all of us. Because when i was buying i forgot to count myself *jumps off cliff* so these Brinjals offered to buy another ticket while i eat my curly fries at A&W. They came back fifteen minutes later, saying there were no more seats left. So one of us can't watch. I didn't bellieve them. I checked their wallets, beat the hell out of them asking them to tell the truth but apparently they weren't kidding. SINCE Danial haven't come, hehehe i called him to explain the situation...

Debbay : Hello, Danial ar. Where are you?
Danial : Home why?
Debbay : Hello, the movie is starting in ten minutes and you're still home???
Danial : Coming coming...
Debbay : wait wait, i got something to tell you. you know ar when i was buying the tickets right... erm... i
didn't buy enough tickets lar...
Danial : so? =.= wah this fella
Debbay : so, err... do you mind sneaking in? (improvising) cos we can't get anymore tickets *looks at Melvin*

Debbay : Nevermind, gotta go, i got some Brinjals to kill.

ughh. so childish. I'll get you guys back man.

Then we went karaoke! It's getting really addictive.

Ampsquare

spot the two Brinjals? running down the up escalator

Rick at the reception

Jireh high-ed

From left: Jun You, Danial, Jireh, KY, Rick, Dexter

And then my camera died. -_____-

The night proceded with my long anticipated reunion with the ex-classmates from high school. Everyone looked so different but we still clicked! We had dinner at Sakae Sushi missed Sakae Sushi days with the bimbos. The place was so packed we had to wait for an hour just to drink green tea because they were out of cups. And so, what did we do while we were waiting?

photos courtesy of

Jia Ying - the sweet and

Jonathan - the ah beng/retard/crazy

and the rest of the gang

Eugene Ho- 6.02 times ten to the power of 23- omg I can still remember

David Wong- the orang asli

Joanne - the lovely

Debbay- the *insert your definition here*

the shot that started it all

Jonathan's raging hormones

hear no evil, speak no evil, see no evil

Picture no. 17

Jonathan : eh got one pic very nice one
Debbay : which?
Jonathan : picture no. 17.
the one i holding chopsticks one
Debbay : i look so bodoh!
Jonathan : LOL
where got
okay what
you look like you crying though
XD
Debbay : XD my ass =.=
Jonathan : no ur ass doesnt cry

what??? *smacks forehead* He hasn't changed a bit.

i risk my life to put this up.

i was testing my camera if got battery or not.

Joanne : see see

*snaps* XD

buddies

Happy Belated 17th Birthday Jonathan Leow Tiang Yeow.

i know i spell wrong lar k. adds to the authenticity of it mar

missed those days

At Haagen Daaz

At Jia Yings place in Kemuning Utama, yeah we took a little road trip ;)

cake

aaah, the pooch we were crazy for. JellyBeans!

and that was about it.

*pants* omg super long post. Applause please?

and btw, I didn't get through the TGT audition lar. =( No excuse for it, I just suck too badly. Unfit to be your singer lar Kee wei and Chiet and Shen.*emo*
And sorry to disappoint you my dear FNBE mates. *double emo*

*does Rick's emo-at-a-corner emoticon*,
Debbay

One More in My Pocket

feeling nervous before entering

Was at an audition for a talent competition. I learnt a new thing about myself today. After I finished my song, one of the judges told me that my voice suit songs from The Cranberries more than the song I was singing, which was Kindly Unspoken by Kate Voegele. Interesting. I've always loved The Cranberries. Maybe thats why because you tend to mimick singing styles from your favourite artists.

I can't really remember what the judges comments were anymore. I'm not too sure now because I was having this adrenaline rush that I normally get after performing and couldn't process her words properly. I think she said that I have a voice that can sing almost any type of songs and too bad I didn't have any music with me (yeah I did an unplugged version. So, not used to singing without my bandmates). Yeah, that is all I can remember now. I'm not too sure anymore haha!

no. 051 (3D anyone?)

Overall, the audition was okay, I could have done better but all is the past now. I can only learn from these experiences to improve myself. Oh and by the way, I have no idea if I got through the audition or not. I will only know after two days.

Then after that, I managed to persuade Danial, Rick and Dexter to join me in this dance workshop that the organizers were throwing. Oh my god, my dance moves, fuiyoh,

Danial: "You dance like Iban girls."

*drops water face*

You are ten times worst than me lah okay, Danial. I should have recorded it down, didn't seem like he was dancing at all. Just swinging his arms and legs at awkward angles.

Jireh, Rick, Jun You, Dexter

Rick and Dexter on the other hand, they've really got it man. They pick up so fast, I felt so jealous! I shall practice more in the privacy of my bedroom. Sigh. Gone were the days I freestyle to Hip Hop musics. Gone were the days I begged my mom to let me go for dance lessons and learn dance steps from Britney Spears music videos (yeah I was a fan and still am!), now I'm old and not that flexible or sharp anymore.


I'm just gonna stick to singing,
Debbie.


P.S.: To my wonderful friends, Eng Wei, Nesh, Jun Yu, Melvin, Lowzy, Dexter, Yin and Min,(thanks for forgetting. haha but you still rock cos you helped me choose songs) Zaidee and Kee Wei who wished me good luck and gave me all your blessings before the audition, Thanks!! You guys are awesome lah.

P.P.S: And to you too Danial but we are so totally even now because I borrow you all my notes in classes.